The Deceptive Penguin

I remember a few months ago when we were debating about vaccines and one of our students found an article that essentially stated that pharmaceutical companies are looking for ways to keep us all sick and dependant on their drugs.  At a glance, one would think this is conspiratorial habedashery.  Enter Mr. Penguin.  Cute, isn't he?  He even comes with his own special igloo that he lives in.  And all over the world he has little friends who wear the same tie as he and who have the same friends.  I didn't even know Mr. Penguin until this morning, when my lack of sleep and "mommy instinct" told me it would be bad for Emilie to have surgery on Monday.  Her panting had progressed to wheezing and coughing where she seemed close to passing out just from the cough in the wee hours of the night.  So, I start with calling in.  And follow that with a call to Emilie's doctor,  who happens to be closed for training. 

After arranging a special meeting to see the doc, Emilie meets this guy.  He is her new breathing treatment machine for the RSV she has.  And he is so damn cute.  Too bad we only have him to encourage Emilie to punch his face while she sucks on medicated air.  And he kind of has that face that means that he is looking at us like we are the suckers.  The kicker is that RSV is highly contagious.  It is still a mystery where Emilie contracted it, where her daycare seems symptom free and we haven't felt like we've been around anyone sick...

So, now the doc prepares us for saving the "extra fun parts" of Mr. Penguin which are there in case other members of the family need to stare at his smug face and receive treatments as well.  Oh you know who is most susceptible in this little game is Grace, so I can't wait to mask her down with the not quite as comforting parts of Pengy.  I am told reassuring things like, "Don't worry, if she screams the medicine will work better," and "Don't be afraid to hold her down while you keep the mask on her face," and "It will get into her eyes which may cause discomfort but won't hurt them."  And then the best information of all, which is that we get to purchase this guy but again to not worry because "...the insurance will send you a bill for the machine."  So I'll set the over/under at $200.00.  Aaand, our house will be betting on the over.  So we finish where we begin which is with the pharmaceutical companies.  I enter Wal-Mart to get the prescriptions (thinking it will be cheaper) and as I am waiting the 1:15 it takes instead of the 0:45 it takes to get the medicine, I have the realization that I am standing here making the calls that involve "yes, it's RSV" and "yes it is highly contagious" and "oh yeah, that is my highly contagious daughter wiping her nose with her hands and then grabbing the shopping cart." I think Wal-Mart's got this figured out and for this reason DOESN'T have a drive thru pharmacy, which is to keep people from keeping their germs to themselves.  It's like open season in that store and on those carts, thus insuring that just like Emilie spread her nasty disease all over that cart, she also probably contracted the disease from the same cart.  And yes, as an afterthought, I did consider wiping down the cart, but that was BEFORE both kids starting melting down from hunger and boredom and before the rest of the customer population in the store became so uncomfortable that they had to start clicking their tongues at me and saying things like, "that's a shame" and "they are so sick," etc....The kicker and completion to my theory?  Of course the darn drugs aren't cheaper when you have to wait in the store and buy chicken poppers, tiana dolls, candy cremes and poppin trains to keep the kids occupied and happy. 


genderist said...

Oh wow. Sounds like you've been playing such fun games this week... let us know if you need us to bring you anything. (I volunteer The Hater to do any gophering you might need.)

Sending you good, anti-RSV vibes.

Ashley said...

Poor babies! Sorry you have been up so much with them lately. Hang in there! Call if you need anything.

Love ya!